The most basic principle that marriage counseling teaches is to save an existing relationship from total destruction and to lead both of the couples back to the path of marital bliss. Though marriage counseling may work for some, the truth remains to be the truth- there are marriages that may never be saved.
For both conditions, there are corresponding reasons and factors. Many of these will be discussed in the succeeding paragraphs. But the bottom line for both factors is that the willingness of both parties to restore the broken relationship is actually the ultimate driving factor. There are several reasons why couples seek marriage counseling. This is but natural, for there are endless possibilities why how people create conflicts in their marriages. Though it is widely accepted that all marriages are bombarded with difficulties some time in their lives, it is sad to note that many don’t seem to override them. And most drop into the pitfall of.
Conditions by which marriage counseling
The most natural conditions by which marriage counseling is often sought are when couples feel frustration, extreme sadness, and severely hurt. These are frequently not new between the couples and had been growing around for years. Unfortunately, the only time that people enter marriage counseling is when the relationship is already on the edge of breaking down. This is reason enough why young couples or those that are yet starting to sense fraction in their relationship have the greater chance of fixing the marriage.
It is not wrong to aspire for happiness. But it is not often that way. To get rid of further troubles, it is wise to accept this reality and to work towards achieving happiness on a more sensible and realistic approach. Marriage demands hard work. It obliges the couple to commit themselves to the consequences of their relationship. They often need to suspend their egos and to drop down the claim for who is right to get around the issues that may send them shouting over dinners. Agreeing to drop the “who is right” thing is a crucial part of both the marriage and marriage counseling. Without this, everything may all be in vain.
It may have been observed that throughout this article, saving the marriage is only the central discussion. But how about for those couples who insist for divorce? Marriage counseling may also answer for that. However, it may be a much longer process, especially when children are at stake. If the marital relationship may not be saved, then the best solution to this is for the couples to transform into friends or willing co-parents towards the growth of their children. This way, pain may be lessened while contributing to a much constructive process.
During the stage of dissolution, extreme pain and other mixes of emotions may be felt. This state may be further aggravated by the obvious emotional and physical separation. For the majority of cases, this state may come to the level of mourning and distress. Marriage counseling may be of best help during this condition as it may help to bring out unexpressed emotions between the couples. Once the signs of marriage destruction have made themselves transparent for the couples, it is best to seek marriage counseling in the earliest possible time. Or you might be too late to save the relationship.
An unfortunate by-product of our insulated culture is that therapy, including counseling, is seen as a sign of weakness or that a relationship has turned sour. This does not have to be the case- in fact, many marriage relationships that are strong can benefit from the services a professional counselor can offer.
There are a few stages in marriages, and counseling can be extremely important in each of them. The first stage is the time before the couple actually gets married after the decision to take the big step has been made. Good counseling at this time can help the couple to anticipate areas of conflict that may arise when the actual event takes place. Couples who have not previously lived together may not be fully prepared for what it means to have another person live in your life 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It is critical that these couples be prepared for the challenges that face them, form the dividing of the household and other workloads to issues that will come up when it comes to finances, sex, and free time. Couples that have lived together might also find some pre-marital counseling beneficial, as the actual process of marriage seems to alter the expectations of the relationship in many different ways. Above all, counseling before marriage can help a couple identify potential trouble spots within the relationship that may be exacerbated once the commitment has been made.